You will body check all the time. You will confirm that your thumb and middle finger still touch when you wrap them around your thigh, and when they cannot, you will feel ugly.
You will feel jealous of the people who are not going through recovery. You will scrutinise their goal weights and wonder how much lighter you would be if you hadn’t told someone. You will feel profoundly stupid.
You will go to weigh yourself and find that your parents have taken the scales away. You will estimate, then, using how far your stomach sticks out, and how many times your arms jiggle when you shake them.
You will begin to enjoy eating again. When you realise this, you will be overcome with a guilt so strong you will lie on the floor and cry for two hours. This will repeat at least once a week.
You will consider bulimia. You will stare into the toilet and stick two fingers down your throat and vomit nothing but your feelings up into the bowl. You will give up but never stop thinking about it.
You will absentmindedly touch your collarbones. When they begin to become less prominent, you will stare at yourself in the mirror and cry. Your parents think it is out of anger, but it is really out of grief.
You will recover, too, eventually. You will live. But first you have to die a hundred thousand times.
This made me cry
Megan Maughan - “5 Reasons to Date a Girl With an Eating Disorder”
"Push her so far into the mattress that she disappears completely. She will say your name over and over and over until she forgets her own."
Performing for Indiana University at the 2014 College Unions Poetry Slam Invitational.
okay this made me cry.
"People say they always come back. I don’t want you to come back."
Rant: “Fat is not a feeling.”
Don’t wanna trigger anyone so I’m putting it under a read more.
I think it’s really important to remember that calories aren’t bad. Society has put such a negative emphasis on them, but what people seem to forget is that we need calories. We need them for our organs to function. For our hearts to beat, for brain power, to simply put one foot in front of the other. We need calories to live.
They are not the enemy here, your eating disorder is.
have you ever had a friend who is literally like your soul mate but like in a friendship way like you are so compatible and perfect for each other like idk
Inspired by this amazing artist. Her work always cheers me up so I thought it would be nice to draw something positive like the beautiful things she usually draws.
Thought you guys might find this interesting as well, here is Cosmo’s plus size model, Robyn Lawley. You can find the photo here, and see how enraged everyone else is at the idea of “plus size”
My favourite comment was:
Kindly take your ideas of “plus size” and shove them up your ass sideways.
Every man on the planet who has had to reassure his perfectly healthy and proportioned woman she’s not fat because assholes like you perpetuate this idea in her head that she’s “plus size”
that guy though ^
^^^ seriously, that guy.
some days you do big things and conquer the universe and other days you’re really proud of yourself for making a spectacular grilled cheese and not killing yourself but either way it’s all good
a very important post